Attitude.

I once found on the internet that if A=1 B=2 ... Z=26 than
Knowledge=96%
Hardwork =98%
BUT
Attitude =100%

I liked this, then I hated it, and then I liked it... let me explain why.

At first I liked it because I took it to mean that you ONLY really needed attitude.

Then I hated it because then I thought "You can't eat off attitude"

and then I loved it again because of the truth of it. God doesn't ask for much from us, and at the same time He asks everything of us. The main thing He wants is thanks; A grateful attitude from us.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

This is Granny's life verse. This is one I am still learning to live.

Depressing Fight.

I all too often think about the future I was always told I would have. Like (almost) every girl, I was born with a desire for family. My thoughts so often go to "One day, when I have a husband" and what he would be like. I look at my examples: My parents, my grandparents, married friends. I look to see how human marriage works.
I see that it is never the same.
I see man and woman married with intent to stay together.
But the workings beyond that... what is the point of it?
Beyond the obvious point of bring children into the world; That doesn't seem to even take marriage these days.
Someone to share the bills with? Someone to kiss? What's marriage all about, I wonder?

"I'll never get married" I say now and again. "I could never love someone who would hit me."
"You shouldn't marry someone who is willing to" Granny would say.
"People change." I reply, "You never know when someone would be willing."

So, I sit and I wonder. The bible gives the marriage example of Christ and the Church. But, that's not a perfect marriage either, is it? Sure, on God's side, He's perfect. But the church... not so much. You still end up with two entities that aren't both giving %100.

I don't know any couple that I would want my marriage to be like. I don't know of any man that would be what I want, and I know for sure I'm not what I would need to be.
Right now, I am young. Only 20 years old. Plenty of time for something to come up. For someONE to come up. But, then I think, "who would want someone like me?"
There is no way I could do everything a wife and mother needs to do.
But then, I think, "Well, if there are people for the lazy, there's got to be people for the invalids."

I seem to like to pick things apart... Not to destroy, but to find out how it works.
I watch people interact, and try to figure out why.
There is so much I don't know about everything, but there is one thing I know... My Lord is in control, and His will-will be done.

Water Fun!

The best birthday gift I have ever been given... a trip on the ocoee! A few pictures:

The Day Approaches!

Today is the eve of my 20th birthday.
It hardly seems like I have been alive for two decades!
Time seems to pass with paces both fast and slow simultaneously. Time what a word. What it means! How little it means to a Christian, and yet how much. With time being life on earth; The time between birth and death, there is so little of it. How great the work we have to do in such a small amount of time. Years... They seem so long, yet a life time passes in a blink. Some lives are so much shorter than others... Some "Never were alive" being born still and unbreathing--Other live to be 100 and still proclaim that life is too short.
My Christian family, we have such a short amount of time. So much of it wasted in days of ignorance. So much of it wasted on fleshly wants. How much more we need to be working for the Lord. How much more we need to be serving, striving, running the race that leads to Jesus and heaven.
How much...
How little...
Time.
My earnest prayer is that my life will be a testimony; That I would stay humble and close to the Lord all the steps of my life. Here on the eve of being alive 20 years, I wonder... How much more can I do for Jesus? Am I doing my best for Him? The song comes to mind...
"I wonder have I done my best for Jesus,
Who died upon to cruel tree.
I think of His great sacrifice at Calv'ry...
I know my Lord has done His best for me.
How many are the lost that I have lifted?
How many are the chained I helped to free?
I wonder have I done my best for Jesus
when He has done so much for me."
There is coming a day when I will no longer serve Him here. No more chances to testify of His love. No more lost souls wondering needing Jesus, but burning, and crying... left behind.
I need to be active for Jesus... for all those around and needing to hear of Him.

Lacking Art.

Not so very long ago my life consisted only of movies, TV shows, and art. I would go from one to the other, or do several at the same time. I would paint. I would draw. I would scribble. I would stare. I would listen.
These things were the only source of comfort at that time. Back, just over a year ago, that was my life.
Now, it has been some time since I have done much more than the odd doodle. Why? Because I no longer need to just cope with life. I no longer need a constant distraction with which to waste time.
My life consists of so much more. Some times I miss art. Though I still write, and sometimes doodle, I don't really draw much. Nor do I paint. It's not because I lack the supplies-I still own all I need. I just choose to do other things.
"One of these days" I keep saying referring to painting again. "One of these days I will do it again... when I find a use for it." Painting, just to paint and put it under my bed, is no good at all.
But one day...
For now I count my blessing, and I enjoy all the other things I have come to love doing.

Up And Downs Of Life Under Pressure.

Here I sit. Waiting. Waiting yet again to hear about a job. Again Granny has already told others that I have already gotten it. The first time I carried the hope that it was true. This time I just sit waiting. With no hope or expectation, with no sense of dread or fear, I wait.

This last month has held the same mountain and the same valley, which I continually climb from top to bottom. My emotions, following the evidences before me, soar and drop all the same.

My mind is steadfast on my Lord, waiting for His guiding word. The moment I look at my circumstances my heart sinks, like Peter sinking in the sea after being bid out of the boat in the storm. Then, like Peter, I call out. My Lord pulls me back to Him, and asks me "Why do you doubt, oh, ye of little faith? Have I not loved you and cared for you since the beginning? Why doubt me now?" And I smile. And I sing.

"The Lord is good. Tell it wherever you go! The Lord is good. Tell it that others may know! Tell of His blessings and tell of His love, tell how He's coming from heaven above; The Lord is good, tell it wherever you go!"

Do we have to sin?

Time and time again I hear "Well, were human. It happens. It's going to keep happening until we get to heaven." Which sounds a lot like an excuse for me. A murder can chose not to murder; An adulterer can chose not to commit  adultery; A liar can chose not to lie; So were is the fact that we have to, because it just happens to be that way?
 It is true we all start out committing sins though we don't know them as such, but as we come to know each sin as a sin we are to stop doing it.
In John 8:11 Jesus tells a woman "Go, and sin no more." Did He just tell her to do something she is sure to fail at doing? I have heard it said "Well, He means for her not to do THAT sin anymore."
But hasn't He said through Peter in Acts 2:38, and in Acts 3:19 to repent from sins, turning to Christ so that the sin can be blotted out? Does that follow?
In 1st John 1:9 it is said "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." This being a confession with repentance of a broken heart turn to the Lord. Repentance isn't something to be tossed around saying "it will work here, but I'm going back to sin for this time, or this event."  Repentance is a true turning away from, making those things far from you.
Sin, like Love is a choice. Both of these are even the same choice, like as they are two sides of the same coin. Sin is a choice of self over all else... and Love is the choice of all else over self.

Answer? We don't have to sin. While it is likely we will, as it says in Matthew 26:41
"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

God is aware of our struggles. He came and faced the same things, and did so without sinning.
"Oh, well, that GOD! I can't do that." can't you?
John 1:12-13 says  "But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God."
In the Lord's prayer of John 17 we can see His will that we be just as He was. That we be one with Him, and with the Father, just as they are one. How could one do this in a life of Sin?

"Well, if you just try really hard (to do right), God will (ignore) those little sins."
First off, "Little sins"?? There is no such thing! They are all bigger than a blue whale!
It is not about "Trying" which gives way for excuses like "Well, I tried... (kind of)."

No where in the Bible (That I know of) does it say "Well, if you try just a bit, I'll just over look everything." It says REPENT! Turn away from sin. Sin no more! These commands are to be followed. We mustn't let ignorance cause us to sin all the more. We must learn the Word of God so we know sin, so we can flee from it, and to our Heavenly Father. We must learn what we should be doing instead of the sin, so our actions can be replaced by all that is Holy. We can not do this on our own, but God through us, if we let Him.

A testimony; A challenge.

I sat in church for most all my life; Rarely did I ever miss a service. Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, I attended... physically. Many a service I sat in my own world. Lost in my own imagination. I had little interest in these things I didn't understand. I knew some basic answers.
"God created the heavens and the earth."
"Jesus died on the cross."
"Mary was Jesus' mother."
"Jesus was born in a stable."
"Sin is bad."
But I never cared to truly explore these things. I endured church. I liked sitting there because it was fairly quiet. It was a place to get away to. Peaceful place where I would sit and draw, or play with my watch.
My move from home did not change this life long habit. I continued going to (an Independent, Fundamental Baptist) Church. I sat and drew, passing the time until the service was over.
I had considered myself a christian. I was told I had said a prayer, and that made me saved; that meant I was going to heaven. My life was fully on conflict and anger, pride and rebellion. I felt fine to fume in my sins, praying for this horrid thing called life to be over.

Until one day when someone was teaching on the Fruit of the Spirit... and I actually was listening.
"I want that" I thought. Hearing of love and peace... and JOY. I had no joy. I was hollow, clawed out and raw, and now I really knew it.
I did not act on it right away. I pushed the thought aside until the next service when the fruit was mentioned again. It pecked at me. Most every service had ended with the gospel invitation, not that I had taken much notice.
That evening as we drove home I was silent. I cried silent tears since I well knew that there was no way I was saved... I had never given my life to Jesus.

Granny pulled into the garage, and turned off the car. Seeing my tears she questioned, and honestly I replied. I said "I know that I'm really saved." And she lead me in prayer.
I felt more alive, but not much else changed.
What was supposed to? I didn't know. I did not read the Word, nor did I pray. I continued going to church, trying to pay closer attention. I followed this pattern for almost a year, waiting for someone to swoop in and teach me more.
It was just about a year after my broken hearted prayer that I came across my answer.
1 John 2:27
But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

 I was waiting for someone who was already here trying to teach me.

God sent the Holy Spirit to teach me, He gave me His word that I may learn. I had only to pick it up and read, and pray.

There are times I still often which for some person to teach me, but I know I have no need.

There is a song that claims "Christ is all I need." and it is truth. How could you need more than the creator of all things, savior of the world, King of kings?

You have been challenged to... 

Spread the Word. 

Share the gospel.

Teach the basics.

Be a help to young followers of Christ.

These are the challenges God sends in His Word. Will you take up the cross?

With God's everlasting grace I am learning much of Him, and what He has for me. I praise Him for being all I need, supplying all I need and so much more.

Fasting.

So, for some unknown reason I decided to fast in the mornings. Basically for no spiritual reason, just because I don't tend to care for eating in the morning. So I set a time for myself. I wasn't going to eat before noon.
I told Granny I wasn't going to be eating before noon so she would stop telling me to do so. I had used the word "fast" since it means to not eat, or to abstain. It was a logical word to use. She thought I mean spiritual fast, and then wondered why I was on the computer instead of in the Word.
We talked about it a bit, and upon realizing I really knew nothing about fasting, I decided to check it out.
What is spiritual fasting?
Why is it done?
What is the purpose?
I jumped on the best resource I have to find out. Google. "Fasting why" I typed in, and clicked on the first few that came up. One included many bible verses, so I read it through, check each as I went along so I could see how to Word fit into it.
( http://marshill.com/categories/fasting )
The posting titled "Why do we fast" answered most my questions.
( http://marshill.com/2013/12/06/why-do-we-fast )
to quote a bit:

"Throughout the Bible, we see people fast for a variety of reasons:
To be like Jesus (Matt. 4:1–17; Luke 4:1–13)
To obtain spiritual purity (Isa. 58:5–7)
To repent from sins (See Jon. 3:8; Neh. 1:4, 9:1–3; 1 Sam. 14:24)
To influence God (2 Sam. 12:16–23)
To mourn for the dead (1 Sam. 31:13; 2 Sam. 1:12)
To request God’s help in times of crisis and calamity (Ezra 8:21–23; Neh. 1:4–11)
To strengthen prayer (Matt. 17:21; Mark 9:17–29; Acts 10:30; 1 Cor. 7:5)"

I am only just beginning my study on spiritual fasting. The only thing I could recall hearing about fasting before, was from a teaching in Mark 9:29 speaking about a devil that the disciples could not cast out, because "This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting."

I would encourage others to also look into fasting and prayer. If nothing more to you, it would be an interesting study.