Growth.

Granny and I were talking the other day on how far I have come just since I started working a couple of months ago. I have since pondered it, and started praising my Lord for all these blessings.
When I started working:
 I couldn't stand for more than 20 minutes on a good day.
I didn't talk to people-I had no interest to.
I thought I'd fail, and fall, and end up dead from that.
I thought that even if I could do the minimum, it'd never help me.
I fought with God on my situation, demanding to know why.
I would get so stressed dealing with people, that I would cry for hours.

Many days when I first started working, I came home in so much pain, and completely exhausted. After a few weeks I had my first mess-up. I didn't handle it well. I just cried with a black cloud over my head, and became more withdrawn and focused on getting it right. Then they moved me to another station. I went from packing a kit, to labeling gauze with an expiration date. I thought it was punishment for messing up, and I sat there jabbing myself with mean thoughts on how poorly I was doing. It took almost a week for me to accept that I had been moved, and I had also changed how I looked at it. It was an easier job, and, with thought, I figured they probably moved me more for my breakdown than for my mess up. (I later learned that they move people around all the time to give more experience in more areas.) After a couple of weeks I began to thrive at my new station. I saw there was paperwork done each step of the process, and I asked to learn about it. A couple of days later the lead at the gauze station quit coming into work, and they began to teach me the paperwork. It took awhile to start to get the hang of it. One day, a couple of days into learning the paperwork, we had a couple of guys from a different station come down to work with us. They asked who was in charge, and I didn't know, so I told them "I guess no one is." So, they asked "Who's doing the paperwork?" "I am" "You're boss then." In that same conversation I learned lead comes with a pay-raise. I didn't get the raise for another week, until I was actually doing the job, and then asked about the raise. Once I became "in charge" I really began to thrive in personal growth. My new position forced me to interact with people, and had me working on standing more. The more I experienced, the more I learned, the more I grew. Now, I don't mind talking to people because it is a lot less stressful. I can stand up to an hour and a half solid on a good day. I have found depending on God to bring my success and confidence to a higher level is the only way to go.
When I started working, I had no goal but to be working because I was told I had to.
Now, I am looking to my future. I am saving to buy my own car, and eventually my own home.
When I started working, I didn't think I had the body or the brains to make it.
Now, I know God will help my body, and He gave me a great mind, and a great mom to teach me. Having been homeschooled, I tested at an at-least-two-years-of-college level.
I have been blessed beyond what I ever hoped or dreamed even possible.
I look forward to seeing what else He has in store for me.