challenges.

It is amazing how most the challenges I have faced in my life, I never thought I would! Either because I didn't know they existed until I faced them, or just because I didn't think that it would be me. A very interesting challenge started several weeks ago, and I'm not sure if it is over or not, but I know that the only I have gotten through it intact is my Lord. Not because I clung to Him, because to be honest I even tried to run from Him for a while, but because He clung onto me.
I am so thankful to be His child.
I'm so happy that He loves me no matter what I do.
Last night He faced me with this, and how I have been ignoring Him, yet using Him in the above mentioned trial.
He gave me a chance of me and Him as I waited at church. All other people had left, or were elsewhere, and I sat in the auditorium in prayer. I cried to finally confess to Him my short coming, and to begin to make right my relationship with Him.

It's interesting how I know that nothing is better without Him, yet I will pull away. Whether I just got distracted, or because I fled from His presence, I will for a time turn away from Him and look at other things, only to find anything else brings loneliness and pain. Only with Him is there joy, peace, love... Without Him, life is pretty empty.



Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Stubborn.

Everyone knows that person who can dig their heels in, and not even a speeding train could budge them. Well, that's my Granny... and that's me. I've learned much from her on this subject in the last couple of years. I, instead, call it determination. I have to be determined (Stubborn) to get through a day. If I wasn't, I'd just stay in bed all the time because the world and life is one big uphill battle. Just getting up and dressed some mornings takes everything I've got, and then I have the whole day to tackle!
I know I am not alone in facing these challenges, both in that many others face them, and that my Lord is with me. I'm supposed to learn when quit. I've always thought I'd quit once I'm down and literally cannot move anymore, (so, dead. When I'm dead.) But apparently that's not how I should handle it. I'm supposed to give in, declaring "I can't."
It is amazing to me, because I know I can't, yet I do anyway. Most days, I'm walking by God's grace alone. I can feel my muscles give in, and my knees hurt past feeling, yet I keep going. To say "I can't" and go sit in the corner doesn't feel like an option to me. I can, until I truly can't. Pain is not a reason to not push on. Not to me.
I think of Christ, who carried His cross until He collapsed. Who carried my Sin away by His death. He gave His all, in His life and through His death, why should I do any less?




Colossians 3:17
And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

Colossians 3:23
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

Mark 12:30
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

To love is to choose, to choose is to serve, to serve is to live. I will give my all in my life.

As God "Can not love more, and will not love less." So is my goal to serve Him and others for Him.

With the Joy of the Lord shining on my face, I willingly, patiently, actively, wait upon Him day by day; Depending on Him for my strength for the day.

Assumptions.

So many people make assumptions based on what they see at first glance. The one I personally hear the most is that I have everything easier because I am young; This usually refers to health. It is apparently impossible for people to grasp that anyone under the age of 40 can have physical problems. Everyone knows people just go by what they can see, the Bible even says so.
1 Samuel 16:7
"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

For years and years when I catch myself starting to assume about someone, and pause and try to think of better reason they are acting the way they are. Instead of assuming the worse of someone, I think, "Well, maybe they have some deeper problem. Some situation they are dealing with, and this is the best they can do right now."

Everyone has different limitations, and everyone's limitations vary over their lives as trials and troubles come. For an example EVERYONE should be able to understand: You can do more and do better, and more happily when you are well, and less so when you have a cold or the flu. A greater scale exists, but I know all should be able to read that one.

I know a lot of the "you're young and fine" assumption comes from acting like I'm super woman. I like to work hard... not work hard "for my age," or "for my disability." I don't like people to look at me and see "less than." No one likes that.

I want to do my best. If I'm not stumbling down from pain and exhaustion, then I haven't done my best. I could do more. A lesson someone has been trying to teach me, is that it isn't always best to do your best. Sometimes it's better to do 75 everyday so that the overall is stronger and better. So that endurance withstands the test of time, day after day.

Maybe my worst assumptions are about myself. Where is my inner voice to defend myself from the assumptions and judgements I place on me?

But, then, where in the Bible does it ever say to do anything at only 75%?

Gossip.

It's hard to over hear bad-mouth gossip about yourself. It's not really something I've had to deal with much until recent days. I can't say I've never said a bad word about someone else, being around it constantly it is hard not to take part. In 1st Peter a challenge is given to be that you would suffer for Christ, and not suffer because of being sinful.


1 Peter 4:14-16
 "If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.
 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters.
 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf."

Proverbs 15:2
"The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness."

Proverbs 17:28
"Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding."

James 1:26
"If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain."

Sin Reveals Grace.

We can not grasp the wonderful love, mercy, and grace of God until we realize how bad we are. Until we see that we have so wronged the Perfect Creator, and see that He is the only one to forgive us, then we are lost in our blindness. All sin is what we do against God and the things we do that break His law. You can’t hurt your best friend, and ask another friend to forgive you for the wrong you did to someone else. It also does not work to pretend that you never wronged your friend. The only way is to ask forgiveness; The same applies to God through Christ.

Romans 3:23

“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”

Romans 3:10

“As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:”

Romans 6:23

“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

John 14:6

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

2 Corinthians 5:21

“For he(Father God) hath made him(Christ) to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.”

Ephesians 2:8-10 “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.”

I once heard a comedian do a piece on Christ. This ignorant person compared what Christ did with someone who shot their own foot for their neighbor’s mortgage. This is not a true comparison for several reasons; First of all, the debt we owe was paid for by the one we owe it to. In this comic piece, it is someone unrelated causing him self harm for a debt between two separate parties. Romans 6:23 (see above) says that the wages (cost) of sin is death, Christ came to pay that debt, to die in our place.

Secondly, the pain Christ went through was not pointless as the comparison implies. His death on the cross was only a small portion of the pain he endured, but it was the most important and most remembered. Thankfully He did not stay dead, but conquered death. Because He rose again, we have everlasting life through Him because death is conquered; The debt has been paid.

Mark 10:34

“And they shall mock him, and shall scourge him, and shall spit upon him, and shall kill him: and the third day he shall rise again.”

1 Thessalonians 4:14

“For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.”

The gift of Salvation waits to be claimed.

Romans 10:9

“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”

I would love to tell you that once you have claimed this gift that everything will be easy, but it wont. It will be harder, but more wonderful than all the ease the world could provide. We are warned and comforted of the trials to come.

Philippians 1:29

“For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake;”

John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

Romans 8:33-36 “Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?”

John 14:26-28 “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.”

2 Corinthians 1:4

“Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”

Date Day!

Granny and I went out today. We went and saw the movie "Home" Which was very funny, cute, and I'd recommend it for the humor. Most of what we ate today was popcorn, nachos, soda pop, and enough ice cream to feed 6 or more. We are feeling pretty miserable from all the junk food, but it was worth it. We had a good time.
It is days like today that make me look at my life and see just how blessed I am. Since I am working, I was able to be the treater. Spending the day with someone you love, that loves you, is something not everyone gets to do, and I know I am blessed in that.

God is good.
Even when the days are not as wonderfully comfortable as this one was.

When the going gets tough...

Most days things are fine, but some days get hard to get through. It's that way for everybody. Everyone has their battles. Mine just happens to be with my joints (mostly just that.) When it rains, or if I decide to get sodapop, or if I push myself too far, it is like I suddenly break and I'm simply done. It gets hard to focus and think, forget standing or much moving. Neck, shoulders, elbows, wrists, fingers, back, hips, knees, ankles, and some muscles that sit between them, hurt.
It's obvious when this happens, I know because everyone around tells me when this happens. Which is good because sometimes I don't realize it myself. I'll be so focused on doing stuff that needs to be done, that I'll be ignoring the signals my body is sending me. Not in a sudden way, because I have to ignore it all the time to get through a day. Before I learned to do that, I didn't do much because of the focus on my hurt made it hurt too much to do.
I'm glad that I am able to push through, I love working, but I wish I didn't have to push through. Especially on those days when I get up in the morning and feel like my whole body is just waking up, (like when your foot falls asleep-goes numb-then the nerves kick back in,) and I have as much energy as a slug on a hot summer's day. Those are the days when I wish for ease, yet don't let myself even if I could. Those are the days that when it all seems too much to bear I start to berate myself to try to keep on, but only continue to spiral down. Some times on those days I will pray, but an empty prayer it is when my heart is so far from God in pain and frustration.

I like to be superwoman; I like to do it all. Who doesn't?
It's a hard reminder to me on how little I can do, when those pains come on, when my muscles weaken and are sore, when I am reminded that I am human living in a broken body.

Getting Personal.

I don't get personal often or easily. I'll talk about my family, the weather, my Lord, but I grow wary when it comes to talking about myself. Whether it is how I am feeling physically, or what I am thinking, or if it is something I've lived. I always leave something out when I tell a story that might be considered personal, when I tell anything at all.
Even on my worst days, when everyone knows there is something wrong I say "I'm fine" and walk on. It is an area of me that I hold on too tightly to. It is not easy to live in a lonesome walk such as this, but fear holds me here... And that is not how I should be living.
Even those that do not have the confidence of Christ know that it is no way to live. One of the ways I have tried to open up a little bit, is here. This blog has been a mild outlet when I have felt brave enough to share something I know few will look at. Most of my posts get no more than 6 views, with those intriguing titles pulling in a whole 12-14 views.
Especially within the house of believers we are to be at least somewhat open, because we are told to bear one another's burdens. (Gal6:2)

I know I still don't have any close friends because I don't want people to know enough about me to be close. People can't be trusted. It comes down to that. I tried, got hurt, and I know people are people and they are all people, and people lie, cheat, steal... they sin, just like me.

Even when I write a biblical blog post, it is usually more centered around someone else and their experience rather than my own. Because God forbid that I should clue people in on my sins and shortcomings. Not because I want to seem perfect, but because I don't want them used against me. It seems enough pain to know that I have stumbled away from my Savior yet again, that I choose sin, without the added pain of negative comments from people. I know in my heart that only the opinion of Christ truly matters, but it still hurts when the opinions of others are against me. I'm sure it's the same for you.
I can not seem to even make myself talk through a whole conversation. If it's getting personal, or uncomfortable in any minor way, I run. Sometimes literally run.

I don't think talking has ever been my thing. Some times I think I do not have "a thing." I look at everything I can't do, and that is my problem. Looking at my failings... Looking at me instead of God.

One of my main defences is a quick wit drowned in sarcasm. So, I am trying to memorize Eph 4:29-32 since most of the sarcasm is down right wrong. But, what verses tell one to be open, and ready to be hurt by the world? I know Paul was. He knew that God was the beginning and end of all things, and that all in his life was something of which God could gain the glory. The good, the bad, the righteousness, and sin were all used to teach and help others see God for who He is, and what we are.
Maybe instead of running away from being personal, I should personally share to God's glory. Not that I should revel and reveal and live in all the bad things I keep so carefully guarded, or share every opinion asked or not. But maybe I should look for ways to share my own personal testimony to God's glory. Maybe instead of answering "I'm fine" or "I'm here" when asked how I am doing on a rough day, I should answer with a smile "I'm hurting, but, praise God, I'm living!"

Should and Shouldn't.

In Colossians, Paul paints a wonderful (I mean blunt) picture of things we, as Christians, should be and not be.


Col3:5-17
 "Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
 For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:
 In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.
But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;
 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:
 Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.
 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."

"The Dos and Don'ts"

Mortify meaning to put off fleshly/worldly things-which are then listed: (to put them into more used words...) "Unmarried sex, sin, excessive affection, evil lusts, desiring to have what belongs to someone else."-vs5

He also tells us to get rid of anger (which is pride,) and to not intend (to do) evil toward others. We are not to talk profanely, or have any filthy way of speaking, and we are not to lie.

As if all that wasn't enough, here comes the dos!

We are to be holy, merciful, kind, humble, meek, patient, and forgiving. And above all those things we are to live love. Letting God's peace rule our hearts, and being thankful for everything (even those things which we deem bad.) Knowing the Word of God to teach and warn each other with grace.

This is my prayer: That I would not only be able to do these things, and not do these things, but to WANT to follow my Lord rather than my own sinful way. I know my Lord provides me with the power to follow His will. He has told me this in His Word. My prayer is that I would Live Him as He lives in me.
Galatians 2:20
"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."

When something is stolen...

I didn't have anything stolen, but a lady I work with did. It was a nook or something that got stolen at her church. So upset she went on and on about how she wished she could go to church without all the sinners. I just inwardly shook my head. It was as if she didn't realize she is a sinner too!
But it got me thinking.
What does God have to say about when we have something stolen from us?
Several verses came to mind.

Matthew 5:38-41 "Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain."



Luke 6:27-31 "But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also. Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise."

One thing we have to keep in mind, the ministry of Christ was built on love and giving. The disciples kept little to nothing for themselves, but left all to follow Jesus.

Second Corinthians talks about the people sharing what they have with one another that they all never lack. (See final text) It quotes Exodus 16:18 which talks about the manna from heaven, where every man gathered no more or less than he had need of. Something we don't see in our day in age in America; we gather what we have need of, plus anything else we can get our hands on. Things rule the lives of many people. This is not to be the way for God's people. We are to be focused on God and heaven, not on ourselves and earth.

I'm not saying, neither does the Word say, that you can't feel upset about it. You'll never find where the Bible tells you what you should feel, simply how you should act and react.

1 Thessalonians 5:18
"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."






2 Corinthians 8:8-16 "I speak not by commandment, but by occasion of the forwardness of others, and to prove the sincerity of your love. For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich. And herein I give my advice: for this is expedient for you, who have begun before, not only to do, but also to be forward a year ago. Now therefore perform the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to will, so there may be a performance also out of that which ye have. For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not. For I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened: But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality: As it is written, He that had gathered much had nothing over; and he that had gathered little had no lack. But thanks be to God, which put the same earnest care into the heart of Titus for you."