When the going gets tough...

Most days things are fine, but some days get hard to get through. It's that way for everybody. Everyone has their battles. Mine just happens to be with my joints (mostly just that.) When it rains, or if I decide to get sodapop, or if I push myself too far, it is like I suddenly break and I'm simply done. It gets hard to focus and think, forget standing or much moving. Neck, shoulders, elbows, wrists, fingers, back, hips, knees, ankles, and some muscles that sit between them, hurt.
It's obvious when this happens, I know because everyone around tells me when this happens. Which is good because sometimes I don't realize it myself. I'll be so focused on doing stuff that needs to be done, that I'll be ignoring the signals my body is sending me. Not in a sudden way, because I have to ignore it all the time to get through a day. Before I learned to do that, I didn't do much because of the focus on my hurt made it hurt too much to do.
I'm glad that I am able to push through, I love working, but I wish I didn't have to push through. Especially on those days when I get up in the morning and feel like my whole body is just waking up, (like when your foot falls asleep-goes numb-then the nerves kick back in,) and I have as much energy as a slug on a hot summer's day. Those are the days when I wish for ease, yet don't let myself even if I could. Those are the days that when it all seems too much to bear I start to berate myself to try to keep on, but only continue to spiral down. Some times on those days I will pray, but an empty prayer it is when my heart is so far from God in pain and frustration.

I like to be superwoman; I like to do it all. Who doesn't?
It's a hard reminder to me on how little I can do, when those pains come on, when my muscles weaken and are sore, when I am reminded that I am human living in a broken body.